Sunday, March 27, 2011

All Dead vs. Mostly Dead

Look at this. I just bought this little guy today and already he's pawing at the window to escape. I am a known plant killer around these parts. All those plants they say can't be killed? Dead. And definitely not even mostly dead. Nope. Basil. Orchids. Cacti. Bonsai Trees. Tropical hybrids that could even survive the death grip of Walmart stores. All of them are now go-through-his-pockets-and-look-for-loose-change dead.

This one will be different, though. It has to be. The plant is called Baby's Tears, so if I kill this one that makes me a baby killer. And I can't be branded with that title for the rest of my life. 

I am officially naming this guy Rasputin. I think it's fitting to name it after a man who was poisoned, stabbed, beaten, choked, rolled up in a rug, thrown off a bridge, and drowned, and still managed to try swimming in freezing cold temperatures of a Russian river in winter.

Meanwhile, on the list of things that could lead to me being all dead if I went too nuts with it, I enjoyed two puffs on a hookah last night. That's right, Mom and Dad, I smoked stuff! I experimented with exotic drugs! Gosh, hookahs really don't seem to produce that shocking effect, do they? If you've never tried it before you really should. A few puffs really isn't going to kill you or get you hooked. And it actually tastes pretty good. The only way I could describe it is that it tastes like pipe tobacco smells.

Me not being a smoker of anything ever, I only managed to get one or two little measly puffs out. My dance teacher is the expert, and can do a dragon lady maneuver where she inhales and blows the smoke out her nostrils. Definitely sweet and something to make those 1920's gals raise their eyebrows in muted shock at her unladylike behavior.

We sat around talking dancer gossip and watching one of our friends perform. I have performed dozens of times in a group and even in a duet. But I've never performed on my own, let alone improv in a cafe. I watch my friend dance and she is beautiful and graceful. Sometimes I think, "I could do that! Those are just simple moves repeated. I've done that!" But other times I think, "I will never look that beautiful. I will never be that graceful. I would totally trip over a waiter!"
One day I'll find my courage and go for it. Last night, though, my buddies and I kept ourselves occupied with a jumping origami frog and a fly by the seat of our pants target. It was 100 points if you got the frog to land in the middle, 50 for the flower, 10 for the lily pad, and "Dead in the Water" outside of that. The problem is that, unlike hookah, it's really easy to get addicted to trying to jump the frog. None of us wanted to quit after hitting the water. So I guess the little green guy stayed in a perpetual state of mostly dead.

For those who find themselves short on cash, and very easily amused, here is how to fold the frog.


Leeanna said...

mmmkay A hookah and frog origami. Next it's cocaine then meth. Stay away from the frogs. They will lead you down that road. AAHAHAHAHAHhahahahahahaasnort.

Anonymous said...

I smoked hookah once, but I didn't inhale. Seriously : ) I smoked it like a pipe and it was yummy.

Daffy said...

Bonsai Trees and Orchids are horridly difficult to cultivate! basil on the other hand....heh...not so much!

Love the name :o) We name our plants too. Lil Duck and I just started our indoor herb garden last week and already have a few buds sprouting up. We are super excited!

Sounds like you had a very creative, free, sensual weekend!

Anne said...

Yay plants!! So much fun, you'll do fine :)

Also, I enjoy hookah, though it's been about a year since. I like the different flavors, peach was my favorite!!

taio said...