Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Preteen Hormones Invade My Life

Tomorrow the sixth graders will flood the middle school halls for their special day of orientation before the older kids come to warp their minds. Today I took one last look at the shiny, waxed floors and sighed. In only a few hours it will smell like developing B.O., fruit-scented body spray & Axe, and grade school french fries. The floors will be covered in mud, gum, spit, lost IDs, pens, pencils and even pants (To this day I still don't know why we find that last one quite often.).

The impending madness means two things:

1. I may not be posting every day. I need my beauty sleep lest my soul be crushed by lack of REM  And lest the lack of sleep causes me to finally snap and duct tape some unsuspecting 7th grader to the wall.

2. However, that means that I will have that many more amusing kid stories to tell. I put forth for your consideration the dialogue between myself and a 7th grader upon introducing a college tutor to the student.
Student: ...Is he your son?
Me: Jake, how old do you think I am?
Student: ... Twenty three?
Me: And how old do you think your tutor is?
Student: ...Twenty?
Me: So I was three years old when I gave birth to him?
Student: ...um...wait...oh...wait...

Thankfully enough, Jake's tutor was there to help him in math.

And so, bring it on you little nose miners! Give me all you've got you lovers of Justin Bieber (Even if your humorous attempts at rebellion reveal themselves in the form of cursing me out, or bad poetry accompanied by anime drawings.)! The blog and I will be ready for you!


cinderelly said...

are you a teacher? i am married to a high school administrator. :]

Leeanna said...

Nose miners?? OMG!!! That's a good one!! No, really, that's good!! Hell woman! I almost fell out of my chair.
Duct tape??!!! Seriously. Send me pictures please or post it on your blog ahahhahaaaa! I love it when you're in a good mood.

Soraya said...

Lol!!! Thank you so much for the amusing update before I head off to Class :-p Good Luck with the kiddos!

Willow said...

Tomorrow is my conference day. I don't have to see my little 9th graders until Tuesday. You did, however, remind me how much I despise Axe. I've banned its use as well as any other perfume from my classroom. Damn kids!

The Blue Faerie said...

@cinderelly - I'm a volunteer coordinator and I help with the afterschool clubs. So I get a nice mix of office & kid time.

@Leeanna - I credit Mrs. Doubtfire for the nose miners one. :) And I haven't snapped and duct taped a kid to a wall...yet.

@Willow - Thank you! I think it should be banned when it gets to the point where you can taste it in the air.

Anonymous said...

Me, I am an office administrator for an elementary school JK to 6 and I have great respect for those that work in middle schools. I have two more days to pull the office completely together before the herd arrives on Tuesday.
Bless us all :D

Leeanna said...

One more thing hon, Just remember this:
I will not yell in class.
I will not throw things.
I will not tease the other kids.
I am the teacher ...
I am the teacher ...