Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Stupidity Killed the Witch

The following conversation occurred between the Blue Faerie and her husband on the morning of Saturday, September 4th, has just now been recalled, and went as follows:

TBF: You know, witches in fairy tales really get the short end of the stick.
H: How so? Well, aside from the fact that they usually die.
TBF: They all just happen to run into their one weakness that ultimately destroys them. Take Snow White for example. Sure the witch was captured and forced to dance in red hot iron shoes until she dropped down dead, but her ultimate downfall was dwarves.
H: Alright then, witches are weak against dwarves. ...Hold on, are we playing Dungeons and Dragons? ...Let's think up another example. How about Hansel and Gretel?
TBF: Chicken bone. She mistook it for a finger. So we can add chicken bones to the list. Then again, how could anyone mistake a chicken bone for a child's finger?
H: But she was blind, wasn't she?
TBF: I suppose then you could say her downfall were her cataracts, but even then there's no way anyone could mistake a bone for a finger! Besides, if she's blind aren't her other senses heightened? That's a pretty stupid witch.
H: Plus she was actually dumb enough to show Gretel how to get ungodly close to the oven. That's like those cartoons where someone demonstrates, themselves, how to hold a stick of dynamite. And how did she live in that house anyway? It was all made of candy! The structural stability alone would make it unlivable!
TBF: Maybe the gingerbread and candy canes were so old that they were stale enough to act like concrete.
H: That makes Hansel and Gretel morons too. Trying to chew on a frickin' old candy house. Plus they threw bread crumbs in the woods expecting to be able to follow them back.
TBF: Okay. So it's determined. "Hansel and Gretel" is one big tale of idiocy.
H: Yup. ...Hey, what about "Rapunzel"? ... I don't think her hair could have grown that long by her mid teens.
TBF: Duh. She had a weave. ...A super weave...

Next week's episode: The Tale of Rapunzel and Her Superweave


TickleTeckla said...

This made me giggle :D

Anonymous said...

Hey - Thanks a bunch for the comment! Honestly I was wicked surprised to see it. I definitely wasn't expecting any comments, especially on the first day :D

Chris in the Emerald City said...

Between the stupid witches and candle event, I had a good morning laugh. Thanks!