I suppose most eclectic solitary Wiccans come to this point one way or another. That nagging feeling, urge, or even pressure to choose a tradition. I've hit that mark in my personal chronology and I think I would gladly trade it for several days of household chores.
When asked about my religious preferences by other members of the magickal community, my first response is always: eclectic solitary Wiccan. The eclectic is because I just don't clique with most traditions, and the solitary, well, because of the former. This becomes a huge problem for me because being alone and working with a smattering of gods and goddesses is not the best set-up for me (Trust me. I was a student that did not do well in high school independent study classes.). I need structure and guidance - especially in the books I read and the people I meet. If there is such a thing as a skeptical witch, I'm that. I need to have bibliographies, footnotes, educated authors, and researched data. Being solitary means I get to determine the credentials, but it can also be lonely and without purpose.
As frustrating as this process is of researching on my own in a desperate, and what seems like futile, attempt to define my path is, I can take comfort in the fact that I'm going it the Kiki way. For those who love Miyazaki films (Spirited Away, Howl's Flying Castle, etc.), you know what I'm talking about. For those who are thinking, "What?" go watch his cutest movie ever. Go ahead. I'll wait. Watched it? Near dying from a severe overdose of cutesness? Excellent.
Kiki didn't really choose to start a flying delivery business. She worried a bit about what kind of witch she would become, but didn't agonize over it. She lived her life, did what she loved, and fell into it. I'm hoping that, like Kiki, I'll stumble upon the type of witch I want to be too.
Is this right? Has anyone else hit this weird Pagan funk? Or, if you're another kind of religious, a religious funk?
If so, I invite you to share, and to join the Kiki crowd... amigurumi style! Woot! I made her with no pattern! Now she needs her mini flying gear. (Oh, and yes. That is her underwear showing, because her underwear is always popping out in the movie. Scandalous!)