For Women Only

Wait, do I have any male readers? Well, if I do then don't read this post. It will gross you out. 

You're still reading, aren't you?

Stop it!

Anyhow, a few days ago I was perusing the grocery store aisles and realized I needed more girly supplies, or "wands of power" as I like to call them. I stopped in front of the tampon section and just stared. And I don't know what caused this, but all of a sudden I was really tired of buying the little fuckers. I was tired of having to ask my husband to pick them up sometimes. I was tired of having to explain to him that there are scented ones that he should avoid. I was tired of having to even wonder why the heck I need to smell like lavender down there. I didn't think I would ever come across a day when a friend would sniff my crotch in a friendly greeting and say, "My, my! You smell divine today!"

So I passed up the wands, took a trip down to the hippie pharmacy and picked myself up a Diva cup. Menstrual cups were something I learned about in my women's studies course in college. At the time I remember thinking, "Woah, whoah, woah. You have to put your hand where? And you have to empty it and wash it, and... ewww! And I don't like you TA! So screw you and you're crazy holistic mumbo jumbo! My tampons and I will bid you adieu." But with all the issues I've had by now with tampons leaking and pads getting moved around and underwear being thrown out, I'm finally ready to give it a try.

If you've never heard of this before, a menstrual cup is a collector rather than an absorber. The idea is that you insert the cup, don't worry about it for 10-12 hours (Yes. You saw it right. None of that every four to six hour stuff.), take it out, dump out the contents in the toilet, wash it off in the sink, and reinsert for another 10-12 hours. It might sound nasty, because really, who doesn't get grossed out by blood. Then again, how many of us women folk have had to deal with that anyway when washing spotty underwear, losing our grip on a tampon and ripping off a pad from our skivvies.

They are apparently reusable for years - one woman reviewing it said she had had hers for ten and it was still going strong. It comes with this cute little pouch and a Diva pin. I have the feeling that after a few months of not having to worry about buying tampons, running out of tampons, forgetting to change the tampon, and for GODS' SAKES, trying to pee without hitting the damn tampon string, I'll definitely feel like a diva. :P

See, men? Now aren't you creeped out? Think you might have read too much? You should have listened. And the only way you can get back at me, is if you do a review of some kind of strange male device. Like the portable male urinal. Weird....