Saturday, November 13, 2010

Story Time

Sometimes I just want to say, "Forget it! The week has been so insane that I can't blog without turning this into a complaint post about being busy! I'm just going to post links to cute and funny things and be done with it!" Well, I could do that, but there's only so much Internet vomit* one page can take. So today I would like to present what I can only hope may be puked up on other websites in the future - Story Time.
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The Madison Zombie Lurch - 2009
Every year the walking dead of Madison protest for their rights as equal, if just a bit handicapped, citizens. After the group of 30 plus zombies perform their cultural rendition of "Thriller", they proceed to shuffle, stumble, and lurch down the street leading from the capitol to campus. And because the living dead held their dance rehearsals at the local Middle Eastern dance studio, there was ample representation from the decomposing Raqs Sharki community.
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Minnesota State Fair 2009 - The Princess Kay Display

My brother and I used to behold these buttery carvings of local beauty queens, and wonder just how they meet their eventual death. The butter sculptures stay up for the week & a half of state fair fun - shown off in a rotating display case in the dairy building. If we happened to be there at just the right time, we'd get to see the next Princess Kay posing on a stool in the middle - bundled up in her winter finery in the cooler while a sculptor chipped away at the next giant butter ball. What my brother and I could never figure out was: If the families of the girls get the butter sculptures at the end of the fair, what do they do with them? Do they actually use them? And if so, what facial extremity do they dig into first? My brother told me if it were me, he'd take my nose. I always preferred lovingly jamming a butter knife into the eye.
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Do I really need to explain this one?**
I will always remember the head-on photo of several sheep butts that was framed and mounted in my Florida home. I asked my dad about it once and he told me that it was a prize-winning photo. Of course, my first reaction to this was to raise my eyebrows and yell for Mom to corroborate his story.  Sure enough. Years ago he had worked with a company that had an office photography contest. One of the employees was absolutely ecstatic because he himself was an amateur photographer. Hoping to get the perfect shot, he spent days on this -dragging out all his lenses and his knowledge of technique (This, my dad knows because he's the type of person that listens in on office gossip and then hordes the information within his family.). Meanwhile, my dad either took at the moment or dug up out of storage (accounts vary) the sheep butt photo. Thinking it was pretty funny he submitted it. And it won. My dad couldn't remember what the prize was at the time, but I think his real prize was getting to see his coworker fuming over ram hineys.
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*Internet vomit (n): the phenomenon that occurs when the life of a blogger becomes so devoid of entertaining events, that said blogger must resort to petty outside links, effectively ingesting original information from the main source and then barfing it onto their own site in a gooey, dripping Rorschach of embedded YouTube videos, Lolcats and photos of shiny things.

**It's The End. :P

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